Chapter 1 - Cat Killed A Rat by ReGina Welling & Erin Lynn

Douchebag.

The word scrawled across Chloe’s notebook made Emmalina Valentina Torrence—EV to her friends—snort out loud. Mostly because, while inelegant and downright crass, it perfectly described the annoying man currently speaking to the sizable group of citizens attending the Ponderosa Pines quarterly town meeting.

After fifteen minutes of fidgeting in his seat and clearing his throat, local handyman Luther Plunkett now held court at the front of the room, still wearing his work clothes. The expression on his round, freckled face was earnest, and he had a liberal sprinkling of sawdust in his curly, mouse-brown hair.

“You got my hands tied with all these regulations: recycled materials, energy efficient building,” he said, beginning his plea. “That’s not the way they do things in Warren or in Gilmore. I’m a business man; I gotta be able to make a profit. You all know me. I been good to my customers, always going above and beyond, but I’m losing money on every job.” His voice rose to a whining pitch that grated EV’s nerves and clenched her teeth.

What a phony. And worse, he was a phony with aspirations. More than anything, Luther wanted to elevate himself from a lowly handyman to a high-end contractor. Never mind that Ponderosa Pines had neither the population nor the commercial base to support such a desire.

“Bull puckey!” someone called out from the back of the room. “Why don’t you shut up and sit down, Luther?”

EV craned her head around to search unsuccessfully through the crowd for the heckler.

Luther’s reputation for bragging about his abilities then providing shoddy construction had not stopped people from hiring him. Without scrupulous supervision, Luther rushed around doing things to make himself look busy, while supplying homeowners with hurried, slapdash workmanship—for which he charged premium prices. His reputation was that of a greedy shyster with minimal skills and a big mouth.

Rising to her feet, EV strode toward the front of the hall, controlled fury giving her the grace of a panther stalking its prey. Long legs carried her forward until she stood toe to toe with Luther, fists clenched and eyes narrowed and cold. She had six inches of height on him, and the authority of age combined with conviction sat well on her strong shoulders.

“Reducing our carbon footprint is part of the town charter, and that means building and maintaining energy-efficient homes using a percentage of recycled materials. You’re asking us to set aside our goals and regulations, not for the sake of the community, but so you can increase your profit margin?” EV’s voice silenced the room. She turned direct, brown eyes toward the crowd and brushed an errant strand of hair behind her ear.

Before Luther could answer, John Peterson spoke up. “Maybe you could explain why using reclaimed materials is so much harder on your bottom line. I know my cousin in Warren paid you enough to cover your crew plus exorbitant dump fees for tearing down that old barn of his. You ended up with a load of perfectly good lumber, enough usable steel roofing to do a house, and made a little profit on the job. You got a lot of nerve standing here complaining.”

“Give the man a break,” Evan Plunkett said, defending Luther. No surprise to anybody there; the Plunkett brothers were cut from the same cloth. “All this green-living stuff is a pipe dream. It’s time to wake up and smell the coffee,” he sneered. “Or would that be the Chai tea?”

Where Luther was just incompetent, his younger brother Evan intentionally caused chaos. Driven by greed and a need for validation, he spent an inordinate amount of time scheming to gain a measure of control in town affairs. As careful as he tried to be, bits and pieces of his plans always made their way back to the town gossip mongers, who could disseminate information faster than the speed of light.

Such were the workings of the Ponderosa Pines grapevine. With roots running deep and true, its leafy goodness snaked through nearly every household in town before returning to the spot where its seed had long ago been planted: smack dab in the middle of EV’s front yard.

If a gnat sneezed in the woods, EV knew about it. Anyone with a lick of sense would have picked another chicken to pluck, another fish to try and fry. It was a lesson both Evan and Luther seemed unable to learn.

So, six months ago, when Luther offered the first selectman a cheap bathroom remodel if he voted in Evan’s favor—EV knew.

When Evan got one of the survey companies he worked with in Gilmore to lay to rest a property dispute between the third selectman and her neighbor—and for once and all prove who was responsible for the dead tree neither wanted to pay to cut down—EV knew.

In the end, it had been Evan who left that meeting with his tail tucked between his legs. Thinking he had two of the town’s three selectmen tucked tightly in his pocket, it was with shock and awe that he watched as the man who was supposed to slash and burn the forest instead slashed and burned any chance for a vote in Evan’s favor.

Ever since then, EV had been waiting and watching for the brothers to make their next move. Tonight, there was little doubt Luther’s seemingly benign plea was the opening salvo to a new scheme.

At the tender age of thirty-three, EV had become the town matriarch and now, twenty years later, she wore the role like a mantle. Ponderosa Pines, a once thriving commune, had become next best thing to a ghost town after its founders and primary owners, EV’s parents, returned to their mainstream life.

Determined to save her beloved home, EV rallied the remaining residents into expanding into a planned community with the goal of becoming an eco-friendly town. Bit by bit, year by year, with the help of those remaining members, now known as the town elders, EV brought the spirit of her parent’s vision into the new age.

The only thing EV and the elders hadn’t counted on was that some of the next generation might not look upon Ponderosa Pines as the paradise they all considered it to be. This was the case with Evan and Luther, whose mother—herself an elder—had not passed on her love of green living and community spirit to her sons.

Following the path from changing the town’s building codes to allow for the use of shoddier, mass-produced materials to its end where the door would now open for Luther to build houses on spec—houses that Evan, in his capacity as a real estate broker, could sell—was one route that needed neither a map nor a flashlight.

The whole setup was a smokescreen, EV thought as she watched the townspeople vote the proposal down. She would have bet her life on that fact. The only thing left to do was wait for the other shoe to drop.

 

Chloe LaRue maintained an appearance of casual interest while her keen eyes roamed around the room and observed as her small community voice their opinions on Luther’s proposal. Her job as the gossip columnist for the Pine Cone, the town’s weekly newsletter, demanded attention to detail. “Babble & Spin” was by far the most popular regular article, and had been since the very first issue rolled off a second-hand printing press over thirty years ago.

Too bad she couldn’t take any public credit for her work; Chloe was simply the latest in a series of anonymous authors. No past writer had ever been unmasked, and Chloe wasn’t about to be the first. Readers enjoyed speculating on the identity of the mystery author almost as much as they enjoyed learning scandalous information about their neighbors. Ponderosa Pines was, like most small towns, full of busybodies.

EV, as the only person Chloe ever confided in, enjoyed being privy to yet another Ponderosa secret and took great delight in helping Chloe maintain her anonymity. The fount of information stored in EV’s exceptional brain was a most welcome benefit, and Chloe had relied heavily on those tidbits at the beginning of her tenure at the Cone.

Now, as she listened to Luther continue to blather incoherently, one thought replayed in Chloe’s mind:

I did not come back here only to watch the integrity of the community be lambasted by these two morons. And I won’t let it happen without a fight.

 

Double douchebag.

Chloe underlined the indictment with a series of vicious pen slashes while EV muttered epithets under her breath until her patience snapped like a rubber band in sub-zero weather.

“To that intent and purpose, the town of Gilmore has expressed their agreement for the purpose of annotating—”

“Annexing.” Evan hissed too loudly for a whisper.

“Annexing,” Luther parroted, “the town of Ponderosa Pines.”

And there it was; EV heard the echoing thump as the other shoe hit the floor. This was what the boob brothers had been leading up to all along: an attempt to combine Ponderosa Pines with neighboring Gilmore.

A mental click followed the thump.

This must be their end game; what Evan and Luther had been working toward all along. Forehead wrinkled, EV tried to determine why now, at the very first fiscal meeting of the year, the Plunkett brothers have raised this particular issue. The election of new town officials just moments before had effectively removed anyone allied with Evan from office.

Desperation had to be driving Evan. Why else would he reveal his endgame now?

“…an unparalleled opportunity to expand into the new milieu.” Luther intoned as though he had been coached on what to say.

“You mean millennium you idiot. If you’re going to try putting one over on the community, at least have the decency to use the correct terminology,” EV spit the words at him.

“Oh, come on, people. Get a clue here,” a voice rose above the rumbling crowd. “This is the best idea I’ve heard in years. Let Gilmore take over the whole damn town,” Allegra Worth, who bore a striking resemblance to Cruella DeVille, declared at a higher volume than Chloe had ever heard her use before.

When she opened her mouth to add more to the comment, Allegra’s husband Ashton pinned her with a glare. Undeterred, she opened her mouth to make another comment, but her husband rose to his feet, pulling her along with him. At first, she stood her ground. but after he seared her with another pointed look, she fell into line and followed him out.

Evan puffed up at the vote of confidence until EV turned her attention on him. “I know you’re the one behind this. You have an ulterior motive somewhere at the heart of this ridiculous scheme, but I’m telling you now it’s not going to happen.”

“I only want what’s best for everyone,” he said, palms up, playing to the crowd. “Expansion is growth. Don’t you want Ponderosa Pines to be the best it can be? To bring jobs to your neighbors? To increase the tax base?”

“And you seriously think letting Gilmore annex our town is the way to do that?” She turned to the rest of the seated residents. “Do you understand what he is asking? Are you all aware Evan ran for mayor in Gilmore and lost before moving back to Ponderosa Pines? Now, all of a sudden, he wants the two towns to become one, and you can be sure that Gilmore, being the bigger town, would insist we go with their form of local government.”

That statement elicited a collective grumble. Ponderosa Pines was proud of its Selectman system.

“Think about it. Each and every one of you would lose your voice in town decisions unless one of our own became mayor. Evan has already expressed an interest in the job. He’s betting that, with all of us behind him next time, he’ll be elected.”

“That’s rich coming from you.” Evan sneered, “Face it EV; your mind went there that fast.” He snapped his fingers. “Because you’re just trying to protect your own interests. It isn’t enough for you to own more land than anyone else in town; you have to be in control of everyone, too.”

“No, Evan, that’s your agenda, not mine.” EV turned to address her neighbors and friends, “You all know me. I speak my mind, but I have no interest in running the town. I’ve never accepted a nomination to any office. Ponderosa Pines may not be perfect, but as a community, we’ve always worked together and we always will. What possible good could come from losing our town status? Ask yourselves what Evan and Luther stand to gain.”

Nods of agreement showed her words had struck home.

“Now that the proposal is on the table, we have to see it through; but I urge you to think long and hard about whose interests you are supporting before you make any decisions. Our streets have always been safe; our crime rates are the lowest in the state. Will putting Gilmore, and possibly him”—she pointed at Evan—“in charge keep them that way? Or will it line his and Luther’s pockets at the expense of our children’s safety?”

With a pointed look that Chloe easily interpreted as, “Stay, observe, and report back to me later,” EV strode from the room.

 

Dead silence descended on the meeting in the first moments after EV’s departure, then erupted into a dull roar as several townspeople left the Grange Hall. Those remaining broke into smaller groups, each trying to talk over the next. Amid the increasing noise, the town elders tried to help the three newly-appointed selectmen regain control by shouting for order.

Under normal conditions, the opinions of the elders, the very first Ponderosa Pines residents, carried authority—but tonight their voices dropped unheard into the din.

Chloe seized the opportunity to eavesdrop discretely and began to assess the room for the most interesting candidates.

Millie Jacobs and Summer Beckett lounged against a wall, heads bent together and snickering. Chloe wouldn’t get any useful information out of either one of those airheads. With an axe to grind against her, they’d vote for the opposite of whatever EV wanted for the community.

Jealous mean girls, that’s what you are. And you’re way too old for that crap. Chloe shot them a convincing fake smile.

Chloe continued her evaluation of the room as the initial furor died down. A tall, muscular man wearing a rather impressive Fu Manchu mustache chatted with Priscilla Lewellyn. Dressed in her signature hand-knitted clothing, a red beret perched on her head, and with her beak-like nose, Priscilla resembled a tie-dyed chicken.

Fu Manchu’s name was Horis, and the poor guy didn’t realize there was no such thing as “dress overalls”, or that he had dating potential under the dorky exterior.

Horis was a farmer who loved Ponderosa Pines and would presumably fight to keep Evan from rising to power. So that was one vote, but there was something about Priscilla’s flutter nature that made her harder to read.

Weaving through the small crowd, avoiding eye contact and putting out the I’m-not-here vibe, Chloe lingered near the pair until she caught enough of their conversation to conclude that neither would favor Evan as mayor. Nothing to worry about there.

As she peered across the room, she noticed a couple around her age who were fairly new to the community: David and Rhonda Erickson. Both nondescript in appearance, they seemed like nice people who, judging by what appeared to be a baby bump, would become a family of three within the next six or seven months.

I’ll keep quiet about that, Chloe thought, don’t want to put my foot in my mouth in case Rhonda’s just been sampling too many whoopie pies from The Mudbucket.

David’s arms were wrapped around Rhonda’s shoulders, his head bent toward hers with a worried expression on his face. They were so deep in conversation they didn’t notice as Chloe slowly made her way close enough to catch a few snippets.

“That woman seems like she cares, David. We moved here to get away from the materialistic world, not to deal with some dictatorial mayor.”

“He’s the one who sold us on this town in the first place. We could tell he cared about it. Now, because of the words of one whacked-out hippie chick we’re going to crucify him?”

“That ‘whacked-out hippie chick’ was behind the grant that helped us buy the coffee shop.” Rhonda’s eyes flashed heat.

“How did you find that out? I thought the grant came from the town.”

“That woman is the town. From what I can tell, she’s very low key about it—well, except for maybe tonight—but she’s had a hand in every good thing that has been built here. Evan may have talked up the town but it was to make the sale. I could tell that from the beginning.” Something about him had given Rhonda the tingle since the first time she’d heard his smooth voice on the phone.

“Don’t you think we’d get more business if we were technically located in Gilmore?”

Rhonda cocked her head and stared at her husband. “How do you figure? Is there some invisible wall between here and Gilmore that would come down once the two towns combine? Don’t you think it’s more likely our taxes would increase and we’d have a bunch of new regulations to follow?” Rhonda was the more business-minded of the two while David was an artist in the kitchen.

“All I’m saying is, let’s learn as much as we can about both of them before we take sides. We have more here to think about than just us.” Rhonda confirmed Chloe’s theory about her waistline.

As usual, the two ‘weird sisters’—who were neither weird, nor sisters, according to EV—watched with great interest but said nothing. So rarely did they speak up at a town event, Chloe wasn’t sure she had ever heard either of their voices. Their reputation for being witches was also something she had yet to confirm. EV said they were, but Chloe had her doubts. They would follow EV, though.

Having learned enough to see the majority supported the town remaining a singular entity, Chloe left the hall and headed home for some much-needed rest.